Confessions of the Little Boy

I am writing this with all my heart out.

It is almost 10 in the evening. I am currently listening to Jim Brickman music (that’s three days in a row if you read my previous blogs).

Last night, I had a dream of somebody. She was a past but I noticed this morning that last night was the second night I dreamt about her since I resided here in Dasmarinas, Cavite. I haven’t talked with her for several years already. She used to be my best friend, my student and teacher, my spiritual advisor, and my special someone (two years of courtship, two months of officially in a relationship…whew!). Everything seems to be fine in my dream. The two of us were happy in my dream like how happy we used to be. I am intrigued if I still have some feelings for her. I am not really sure right now but I guess she doesn’t have a bit for me…hmmm.

I was a big time loser and a successful jerk (may be still am to her). I was so immature that I didn’t even bother listening to her explanations why this and why that. If I could turn back the time, I wouldn’t bother turning it back. What happened already happened. There are reasons why things happen. I trust Him. But still, I was a big time loser and a successful jerk.

If ever she may read this blog entry, I want her to know that I am sorry. I know I am a past but I am presently sorry (ooppsss…senti mode/emo mode). Things change for the both of us but she has been a part of my life. I wouldn’t be who I am right now if she hadn’t been a part of me. I hate to admit this, but I miss her company.